Our Best Friend

This was an old post - I was going to rehash it but .. I think I'll just leave it as is.

Our family has undergone a lot of change recently - most of those changes will be thoroughly photo'd and explained later, but the most important change needs to be addressed here.

We are sad to announce the loss of our family's Best Friend and furry compadre - Teo. It has been almost a week, and I can finally sit back and think about it without mentally forcing him to the background. He meant a lot to our family, and to me particularly over the last couple of years.

He was by no means a perfect dog, but he was perfect for our family from the moment we met him at the Denver Dumb Friends League. If we are correct, he was just over 6 years old. We expected many more years to enjoy his playful, loving personality.

What does losing a dog mean? In part, it means less clean up. Less noise, less smell and fewer cookies stolen from unsuspecting fingers. It means fewer worries about the fears or incompatibilities of others. It also means a complete routine change for the family, it means a complete reversal to a lifestyle centered around an active and cuddly pet. It means I can't make good on my promise to my daughter to return to the off leash dog park she loved as much as Teo did soon. A thousand things about our everyday life are empty or new and strange. Selfishly, it means I lose my only companion whose life and love truly centered around me and my husband. It means a little bit of guilt over every moment that didn't go perfectly, and a little longing for every moment that did. It means explaining over and over to my 2 year old where her dog went. It means that even the more convenient things will bring a little stab of loneliness for a while and that every pet dog we see will make us long to be in that owners shoes for a few minutes.
It means we remember the wonderful, the frustrating, the silly, the at times a little dangerous, and always fun friend we had and we take the time we need to learn how to make this life fit us like a glove again.

Here we are at the very end..

And a few more of his last days..

And a few of my favorites and memorable ones.

At first, he was terrified of being caged. So his kennel was several times his size, and was bigger than our kitchen table.

When we first adopted him, we had to praise him every time he ate - or else he just wouldn't. We taught him to play, to love sitting on laps, to bark at squirrels (I still laugh about that last one) and to love water.

He had so much energy that he probably could have pulled us up Devil's Head. He almost did pull me up a much longer hike close by Grey's Peak. He loved hiking.

Toys pretty much all ended like this after 20 minutes.

His story: While I was away for the weekend visiting my sister, Teo was playing fetch and suddenly overshot the ball. He tumbled head over heels, cried, convulsed and was thereafter paralyzed in his right hind quarter. By the time J could race him to the vet, his temperature had spiked to a possibly brain-damaging level and through IV fluids and an ice bath he was able to recover enough to show an ascending spinal reaction to his lower back paralysis. (ie: a completely extended upper spine, front legs extended and hard as rocks.) An xray and thorough exam showed no broken bones anywhere, just one area in the lower back where Teo exhibited a pain response.The vet was perplexed - "Never seen this in my 21 years of being a vet". A canine neurologist was phoned "Strange, Completely perplexing". What do we do for him? "Let's give him medication for pain, muscle relaxants, and some prednisone and observe him overnight. 90% of the time dogs recover from pain overnight." But the entire staff was uncertain that he in specific would respond at all to treatment. Overnight he didn't want to eat or drink. He lay there, trembling and semi-sedated. I arrived home and when I got home he tried to get up to come to me. By this time he was laying outside on a blanket because he was incontinent and unable to rise by himself or stay upright on his own for long. I spent 45 minutes massaging him. I prayed to see him for how he as truly feeling, because all I could see was my desire to make him better. In an instant I could see the dilation of his eyes, the rigidity of every muscle, small or large, and the anxiety he underwent every time I stopped actively massaging and releasing endorphins. He communicated that he didn't want this for any length of time for further tests. After 35  minutes he finally stopped trembling constantly. After 40 he was able to close his eyes - the first time of actual rest in almost 24 hours. After the massage, he wanted to stand up and stay near me, so I helped him up and he lay by me and K in his favorite spot right under the swing and I threw a ball to his mouth so he could play while he lay down in the grass. In a few minutes we left and took him to the vet again. The vet mentioned that steroids sometimes worked for paralyses in the right conditions, but that it takes a lot of time and is best for dogs who aren't in constant pain. We had already agonized over our decision - we called alternative medicine doctors, pondered all of our options. We could have, and would have spent thousands of dollars in addition to the hundreds we had already spent on him if that was what he wanted. We wanted to. But in the end, it was his decision that he was done. I was lucky I could be with him until the end - the end when the doctor came in with the injection and Teo laid right down on the table and relaxed as much as possible before the injection even entered.

His end is a testimony to me that Heavenly Father loves all of his creations. I don't know why Teo had to go so early, when we were so unready to let him go. But I do know that if he could have chosen any way to go, this was it. Surrounded by family and loved ones, playing until the moment of decision, with enough time to properly say goodbye to those so important to his life. I know he has a spirit and that it has gone to a wonderful place. I miss him, and I can't wait to see him again.

A picture is worth a thousand words - or more

I have been absent from the blogosphere now for a few months. Not because I think it's not worthwhile, on the contrary - it's our family journal. I've started several - but since we moved I just have not had the free time.. so here is a picture to replace all those thousands of words.

Super sleuths,  what can you deduct from this picture? I looked around and realized that this one shot actually contains everything new, or almost everything, in our lives since May.

See if you got everything:
1. We moved to an apartment - it's in colorado springs (which you can't see in the photo)
2. Our furniture only fits right next to each other wall-to-wall - so the apartment is small.
3. Our photos are up on the wall - we've been here for a few months and are feeling mostly settled
4. There are some little girl clothes out - that is my partial give-away pile. Korrali is growing a lot
5. The diapers box has felt sticking out of it - it's our Sunday box and it's still out. Today is Thursday - which points to the fact that we haven't really been home a lot all week. This is typical.
6. There is a bottle of water - full and ready. I'm pregnant and must take copious amounts of water where ever I go - and I often drive for hours during the week.
7. My Sunday bag - I teach in nursery now and so my Sunday bag is close by the Sunday box ready to go... also since Sunday.
8. A candle - I was very sensitive to the repellent odors of our apartment. And am no longer so - so it's closed.
9. A photo of Teo - we lost our beloved furry friend at the end of June. We miss him a ton, but the picture helps. There is a post in the works about this too eventually.
10. Some trash - yep, again, no time for taking out the trash. We are on the go
11. A little red truck - when we are home we try to have friends over, so our toys are pretty much everywhere all the time. This one gets put back regularly though (go me!)
12. A white object- this is the guts of a glowbug toy. Korrali prefers to know just how things work, so the cute doll lives with our dolls and the music box part is the actual favorite toy. She is growing in to being able to open and explore almost everything. No really, almost EVERYTHING.
13. A child lock is on our deep freeze. See above.
14. A black objet - this is the battery pack to a self-jumping starter for our car. It's slick. It's out because we just used it - after which the keys were locked in the running car. After which our apartment was entered with a spare key, rummaged for the car spare key, only to discover our spare car key is actually not the spare to our car at all. Darn. During which time a wife was called to drive an hour down from Denver to turn off the car, work was missed, and said hour drive took almost two hours due to a brush fire caused by a jack-knifed oil tanker. The fire started about 20 minutes before wife arrived at the traffic block - how do I know? I saw the smoke start. We were very glad that wife always packs for a road trip when driving over an hour with a 2 year old. And we were glad to have the chance to call some family, which we seldom have much time for.
15. A massage table. Since June I've been traveling about once a week up to Denver to massage. Some of you reading this may remember a fall several years ago when I stayed in Arizona to attend a class about massage for people living with cancer. I finally have had the opportunity to use it, and our close family friend who blessed my life by allowing me to work with him is now at a stage where he no longer needs me so the table is once again sitting in my front hall waiting to be put away. We've said our good-byes, and I am now awaiting the opportunity to use the same table to help his wife cope with single mother-hood.
16. A blue sheet on the Sunday box - it was for a nursery lesson about baptism which I didn't end up having to teach. We still play river with the sheet anyway.
17. No little girl. She is sleeping. Which is a miracle. More on sleep in a separate post.
18. Trash. Yep, it's that kind of week. At least it's healthy trash. Oh and we do eat a ton of eggs - pregnant and toddler who doesn't care for much protein. That is trash from half of the quantity we buy at once.

Firehouse 2

My in-laws live right by a firehouse and we hear the sirens going quite often, so we decided to make them some cookies and hike up the hill to say thanks. We were lucky enough that J was home, so he drove us there and we all enjoyed our firehouse adventure. K got so excited about making cookies for them - I think it combined 2 of her great obsessions: sugar and firefighters.

I found a great recipe here that is easy for toddlers to help with, and while the cookies were in the oven she cooked me up a storm - "Je Cuisine, Mama"

Uncertain about being in such a tall and official fire truck, Korrali just sat and didn't even try to push buttons - I was worried about that - it is, after all, the real thing. 

They had coloring books and hats handy for children's visits - I was impressed.

They were kind enough to give us a mini tour, and K was shy, but was very pleased to be there and it was fun enough that I've decided we should keep on doing that other places we move to- they told us they don't often get thank you's from people who haven't directly benefitted from their help - ie: a victim of fire or other firefighter worthy visits. But I'm sure glad they are there - even if nothing ever happened I'd still be so glad they were right there just waiting to be the help we need. Thank you Fire Department for being there!

Happy Birthday JD!

JD's birthday rolls around just days after our Birthiversary. Happy Happy Birthday Sweetie! I'm so glad he was born!

We celebrated by spending family time, K and I made him cookies

and by going to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. (As a side note, I got a wrap and salad - who knew?). K was going a little nuts since it was loud, lots of different TVs playing different things, and it was close to her bed time and way past her dinner time so we don't have any photos.

We planned to truly celebrate his birthday on Sunday, but he threw up all day. Happy Barfday. I hope this year goes better than your birthday celebration and know that I love you lots and am so glad you are in my life!

Happy Birthiversary!

A week after K's birthday, my birthday and our anniversary share one wonderful day. We celebrated 8 years of marriage - what? 8? And I felt a little older.. but still so grateful for my sweetie. I had an inkling when I met him that he was a good guy. When we got married I loved him because I knew he was a great guy. After 8 years I know he is a smart, talented, compassionate, understanding, ever-growing, fun, kind, realistic, logical man who has hit the sweet spot of being responsible but still youthful. He is faithful to me, our family, and the Lord and I could never in a million years have dreamed up the perfect way he balances and mirrors me. I love how we have grown as a unit, and I am so looking forward to the many years ahead of us!

From the picture that started it all..

To our honeymoon on Maui

To 8 years later

We made some fancy soups for dinner. So delicious. The top is Lobster Bisque, the bottom is Cheese and we also made a Clam Chowder. It was the perfect meal (I had a cold also) for two soup lovers to share. Happy Anniversary!

Cool, Crazy Monkeys

JD took and passed his CCM! He said it was a beastly test, but he passed and in my book that means he ate that thing for breakfast. In honor, we made him a breakfast cake: ie a rice crispy pan. Congratulations, Sweetheart!

Happy Birthday!

K turned 2! She was sick with a cold, but it didn't ruin her day. We love our little girl! She has been such a fun blessing in our life these past two years. I can't believe it's been that long! From her sweet smiles, to her love of teasing she is just a pleasure to be around most of the time. I love her spirit of adventure, and her propensity to make friends. She shares our love of the outdoors and exercise, and it is such a treat to share the things we love with her. She is charming (when she wants to be), independent and loves figuring out how things work. She is empathetic, lively and loves to play with friends.

Of course we had presents - a train set from Popi which she loooves.

A baby doll and accouterments from Grammy - also a major win.
She pushed the baby and Popi's card around, read her card to the baby, fed the baby.. And her other older dolly shared in the fun.

The card sings Somewhere Over The Rainbow, IZ style, and lights up.

We had the sister missionaries over for dinner (what could be better for our little socialite than friends for dinner?) She loves chocolate haupia pie (She really is ours!), so we had that for dessert. She blew out her own candles and I have to admit, I sniffled a little that day thinking about how many things she can do now and how fast time has flown by.

We love our girl!!