2016 in Quotes

J: Apparently we got engaged 9 years ago today (thanks Google!)
L: Best lie ever
(I may or may not have lured Lianna to the beach for a romantic picnic dinner under false pretenses.)


J: Korrali are you a muggle?
K: no!
Me: a muggle is a person without magical powers. We are all muggles.
K: no I'm not! I have magic it's from the trees. Woosh.

L: another way of saying joking with you is pulling my leg. You're pulling my leg!
K: I'm not eating your leg! Wait.. I need to eat your leg :chomp:
L: ahh you're eating me ahh!

L: it came to pass that the chief judge was murdered and no one knew who did it.
K: but I know who did i t!
L: who?
K: it was... John!
L: maybe you're right-
K: John Jacob jingle heimer schmidt!!!

L: Hey, can you call me real quick?
J: Sure. Lianna, Lianna, Lianna, LIANNA!
L: ........Thanks, but I meant my phone.

Today k picked up a dead thistle stalk and said to me in her little lisping voice "mom, this is the kind of thing that does photosynthesis". I said "yes, when it is not dead." Then she ran and told her friend this cool fact. I have Rachel and the tree schoolers to thank for opening the door to that discussion, and a beautiful state to thank for reinforcing to an active little hiker with a mind like a sponge to that plants use photosynthesis to create their own energy. Im amazed at how her mind makes connections. I wish sometimes she made other connections ... Like i should do what mom says.. but i guess i can cut her some slack

Me: K why are you naked???
K: because I have no clothes on
Duh. Silly me

J: I'm going to bonus this month.
L: Great! Maybe we will one day buy a house!
J: Or I could buy a gun for my birthday. =)
L: But you already bought one for Claire's birthday
J: Exactly! (thinking this could be the start of a great tradition!)
L: Are we going to spend $500 on MY birthday present?
J: (chuckles in his mind... as if the gun would only cost $500)
J: Sure!
L: Just think, we could go on a great vacation instead.
J: ..... We'll talk about this later when you're much more tired and not in possession of all your faculties.

J: Hey Lianna, check it out! There had a sale going on: Buy one bag of carrots and get two cartons of ice cream for regular price!

K saw a video of new Caledonia, and there was a Caucasian guy wearing just swim trunks. 
K"that's jesus! He got crucified!"
J"yes, he did! But..er... Um..(knowing the moment had passed to explain) Look the beach!"

L: I've heard it said that cleaning whilst raising children is like shoveling in a snow storm. I look around my place, and beg to differ. It's more like trying to towel dry standing in a downpour.

J: When shopping with toddlers, some families have to worry about tantrums, others about having the toddler wanting to buy one of everything. Us? We have to deal with a toddler hugging the mannequins. Every. Single. One.

LI almost made it to 30 without ever a bird targeting my head for its in flight facility. Almost.

Daniel tiger: do you want to make believe with me?
K: no thanks.
Every single time

JWhen Claire is not sick her hair sticks up. When she's sick, it lays flat.

Dora: who do we ask when we want to know where to go?
K: a grown up!
Me: very true. Who does Dora ask?
K: oh. The map!

My dog drank out of the toilet again. But the joke was on her; my 3 yr old had forgotten to flush.

What energetic phrase did k coin today? A: the Crumbs cycle B: m&mo acids or,C: cocoasynthesis?

K: mom, these are Franklins!
Me: those are ninja turtles
Ensue the story of the tmnt 
K: oh. This is Franklin. He turned in to a ninja turtle

J: you have your tooth brush? I'm turning off your light because that means you got out of bed. (we have a deal worked out with her to help her stay in bed)
K: no, I have magic to get it! I do! I do! 
Ok. Fine...
J:goodnight Korrali.

My brain: YES! My wife Lianna bought Hawaiian Sweet Rolls. I'm so lucky!
My hand: Reaches for the bag
Orange bag in the fridge: Sorry, I'm not Hawaiian Sweet Rolls. I am a giant bag of carrots.
My heart: You... you deceiving, low down, dirty... deceiver! 
My body: Crumples to the floor, whimpering like a democrat responding to Trump's election victory

Usually ks daddy is really up on toddler stuff but he and I had a good laugh this morning..
Daddy with the patience of job: she wants me to guess which princess she is and I guessed like 14 princesses and she keeps saying 'one more guess' ah! 
I walk in to the room, k is wearing a Cinderella dress.
Me assuming she is teasing: didn't daddy guess Cinderella?
Her giggling patiently at her parents folly: no! He said sleeping beauty though!
Me: did you guess Cinderella?
Daddy: yes, see! I said aurora! Or, is aurora sleeping beauty....
Me: yes, Cinderella is actually Cinderellas name
Bahaha! I'm seriously impressed he knew 14 princesses though

K: daddy, where did you come from?
Me: where is daddy from?
K:yes, where did we find him?
Me: he was born, from Grammy . then he grew up, just like you are. Then he went to school, where he met me.
K: oh! I must have been in your belly.
Me: not yet, you were still in heaven cheering that we met. You had to wait a while,before you could come.
K:ohhh! Ok.
I love hearing her think!

L:tonight's dinner will be broccoli cheddar soup. 
Joe: without the broccoli right? 
Lianna: no, without the cheddar. 
Joe: oh I forgot.... I'm fasting. 
Lianna: until dessert? 
Joe: yes.

My daughter went into her bathroom, then called for me. I thought she needed the light on, but she stopped me. Then she shut the door to barely a crack and whispered in a ghostly voice "I'm Nocturnal"

Claire:
Joe:
Claire:

Looks like Claire is a teaser.

Joe: Korrali, do you know where the Cheerios are? 
Korrali: No. Maybe in the cupboard? 
Joe: No, they're not there. Maybe I should just have chocolate chips for breakfast?
Korrali: Ya, probably....

We were at Target yesterday. When it came time to leave, I had to carry Korrali since she was SOOOO distracted by everything. As we're walking up to the front to check out, she whispers in my ear "Are we leaving this magical place?"