Pregnancy Chronicles: the Case of the Disappearing Due Date

While I can absolutely agree with a wonderful cousin-in-law of mine in stating that I am much more prone to grumpiness, by way of limiting snarky comments I tend to go for humor. Thus it is born: my newest mystery to unravel!
Dust off your "little gray cells" my friends, it is time for....

Sherlock Mom and the Case of the Disappearing Due Date

It was a sunny day. The woman had just confirmed the most exciting news that year: she was definitely pregnant. She left the 32nd Avenue building, crossed the parking lot and stepped up into her parked SUV. "I don't actually remember the first day of my last period..." she thought to herself "but no matter, I know when I got pregnant I think, and I know technology these days, I'm sure this won't pose a problem to the OBGYN". Confident, she drove off home to relax.

Three months later, she walked in to Sherlock Mom's new office. "Sherlock Mom! I need your help!" She gasped "They've lost it! They're not sure!"
"Slow down there, dear, who has lost what"
"The OB! They've lost my due date! They have no idea how far along I am, and don't admit anything about what they have told me in the past could have been at all accurate. I'm lost! I don't know if my baby is the size of a turnip or a cabbage, or even a tomatillo!"
"Ah, not to worry dearie. The little gray cells, they will tell us."
"Oh.." the woman sobbed, "but mine are all gone!"
"Ah I see," said SM, "Well, luckily, my little gray cells are now at your service. To begin with, do you remember when you had your last period?"
"No.. but I do think I know when we could have become pregnant.."
"See! It unravels already. What did the OB tell you about your due date"
"Well, first, the urgent care said i was around 4 weeks at the end of August. Then, the Doc I had for my first prenatal visit told me I looked about 14-15 weeks in October. Then, she measured the baby's femur and said it was more like exactly 11.5 weeks at the same visit... This last visit the new Doc told me my chart said I was 20 weeks, that was 3 days ago, and when I mentioned the other visits, he told me those were ultrasounds just for fun and to try and date a pregnancy at this time was too inaccurate to even attempt and a waste of time. But, I thought they normally could tell the sex of a baby at 20 weeks.. do you think I'll ever find my official due date Sherlock Mom?"
"Hmm, I can understand your dilemma my dear." SM closed her eyes, and appeared to fall asleep. She began to snore. She sat up with a jerk. "Sorry, my dear, it's these hormones, you know, I'm just so tired all the time... But, I think the answer to your question will be found when you think back... you had three confirmations - your own personal idea, the first urgent care ultrasound, and the unofficial femur measurement, while none of these were recorded on a doctor chart, they all point to being about 16.5 weeks right now. Go with that, and who knows? If you give birth earlier than you think you should, and the baby is healthy, then you have only saved yourself months of discomfort."
"Oh Sherlock Mom! You are incredible! Your reputation is so right! I feel so much better. Nuts to those other doctors! I'll consult you and Doctor Mom, your counterpart, only from now on!"


The End