Expressions of Love... from a scientist

My wife and I have a pretty wonderful relationship. Actually, some might call it perfect. Whatever you call it, it’s pretty much great. The other day, as I was gazing lovingly into the beautiful brown eyes of my wife, I saw her for what she really was. With a kind tone I said, "I love you my bundle of carbon atoms, amino acids, and a handful of miscellaneous heavy metal ions."


Lianna then looked at me for a second, blinked, and was then overcome with the fact that she had heavy metal ions in her very being, which realization prompted a mass demonstration of heavy metal ion activity. For those of you who are unfamiliar with typical heavy metal ion activity, let me explain. It is characteristic of hand motions where the pointer and pinky finger are extended vertically (in the same plane as the palm) while the ring and middle finger are placed side-by-side on top of the underside of the thumb. This results in a shape similar to a mythological creature with large, pointy ears and a long snout. The hand motions are also accompanied with a violent shaking of the head with up-and-down motion, much like someone shaking their head yes, but in a significantly exaggerated and violent manner. Along with head-shaking comes the protrusion of one’s tongue as if some very disgusting bug has landed on the tongue, and in an effort to keep it out of the mouth, the tongue is protruded horizontally out of the mouth as far as physiologically possible. The hyper-protrusion of the tongue results in a series of inaudible, high frequency sounds that are similar to that of a cat being swung around in circles by its tail. Similar behavior can be observed at a heavy metal concert at which those in attendance are equally overcome with heavy metal activity in response to the music. It can also be seen by those who "sing" heavy metal.

So, this was the behavior of my wife after my sweet, caring and sincere expression of love and upon hearing she had heavy metal ions within her being. During the above mentioned behavior, I sat back and contemplated just how lucky I am. =)

image courtesy of http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9943298